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Believe in Yourself.

Posted by Zak Reid

Do you believe in…. you?

When you undertake a new, challenging task, do you feel that you’ll accomplish it, or are you overwhelmed with doubts and questions?

Self belief is a very important part of everything we do, whether we realize it or not. Our self confidence can be seen in the way we walk, communicate, work and play.

I recently watched a video about the importance of self confidence and was presented a very thought-provoking scenario from Jaret Grossman, summarized as follows:

Imagine that you open your eyes and you’re in a hospital. The doctor tells you that you’ve been in a coma for a number of days. You then realize that you can’t recall your past, you don’t even remember who you are…

Now, how would you conduct yourself if the doctor informs you that you’re an elite Navy Seal and that they want you back as soon as possible? How do you think it would affect your rehabilitation and overcoming that challenge? How would you carry yourself differently?

What if the doctor tells you that you’re a pianist? Or how about a renowned actor? If you believed that you were a very accomplished and talented actor – it would dictate the way you spoke, carried yourself and acted in front of the camera. 

This scenario interests me because we’re not discussing making a physical change in your life, simply modifying what you believe. Even more interesting is that we are in control of this process, we decide what we believe – we are in control of how we see ourselves.

Believe in Yourself.

There’s a famous saying – fake it until you make it.

This saying encourages that you outwardly show confidence in a new situation, conducting yourself in a manner that a successful, experienced person would, until that outward confidence is internalized. This saying can apply to the first day on a new job, writing your first book, or walking into a networking event when you don’t know anybody…

In this situation, arriving to the event, you may feel anxious and uncertain, but instead of letting that take over – in which case you may end up standing in the corner with your hands in your pockets, speaking with nobody – you flip a switch to exude confidence. You imagine this is your 1,000th event and you “know” that by the end of the night you’ll have made a few very valuable contacts.

Each interaction now has a purpose. You’re an expert here, and each person you speak with is better-off for it. You change from a feeling of: I’m sorry to bother you but can I please have a moment of your precious time – to –  my time is very valuable and I’m choosing to spend it with you. This subtle change is reflected in your tone of speech, your strength of gaze and body posture. People can sense desperation and anxiety just as they can sense confidence and ease.

“To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when no one else will.” – Sugar Ray Robinson

Ok, ok, so that’s probably enough imagining for today. I just wanted to take us outside of our bodies for a moment, imagining how a self confident version of ourselves looks very different than a self conscious version. It starts in our mind and reflects outwardly in a million subtle manners.

Everyone has their moments of doubt, even the most successful people, but the difference is they leave that space quickly. Other people decide to dwell on these insecurities and doubts, and they end up living there. Most of us are probably some combination of these two extremes.

Let’s work to be the most self-believing version of ourselves that we can.

If we want to be successful, and have other people believe in us, then it makes sense that we need to be the first to believe. Why would I expect you to believe in me, if I can’t even find that belief in myself?

“I know where I’m going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want.” – Muhammad Ali

There is science behind what I’m saying. One case that illustrates how important self belief is: girls in mathematics / science. While the origin of the problem can be debated, the fact is many girls aren’t as confident with math / science as they are with other subjects, or in compariston to boys, and this is unfortunately represented in test scores:

Girls “lack self-confidence” in their ability to solve mathematics and science problems and achieve worse results than they otherwise would, despite outperforming boys overall, according to an international study of gender equality in schools by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development.

[…]British boys outperformed girls in science exercises by 20 percentage points – but the gap disappeared when the performances were adjusted for levels of self-confidence. In other words: girls who said they were good at science performed as well as boys with the same attitude, while girls and boys lacking in self-confidence achieved results that were similar to each other.– From The Guardian.

In the study, it concluded that girls worry more about the difficulty of their math classes (girls 56% vs. boys 39%), were more nervous while doing math problems (girls 33% vs. boys 20%) and were more worried about receiving poor grades in math courses (girls 66% vs. boys 49%).

Ok, so now that we’ve decided that self belief is important, and can tangibly impact our lives, what can we d0?

One of the first steps is to Compliment Yourself. Many of us use an internal voice that isn’t very kind. We may tell ourselves “there’s no way I can do this, I’m going to fail” whereas if we saw a friend in that same situation, we’d be more likely to say “you can do it! keep going!”

One strategy to help improve your self-language, interestingly, can be to talk to yourself in the 2nd or 3rd person during difficult moments. A number of successful athletes and entertainers sometimes refer to themselves in the 3rd person, creating a small disconnect from the situation, allowing a more objective view.

Psychologist Ethan Kross, of the University of Michigan, studied this difference in self speech. He placed volunteers in a difficult situation (5 minutes to prepare a speech), instructing some to speak strictly with “I” and the other group with “you” or using their name:

Kross says that people who used “I” had a mental monologue that sounded something like, ” ‘Oh, my god, how am I going do this? I can’t prepare a speech in five minutes without notes. It takes days for me to prepare a speech!’ ”

People who used their own names, on the other hand, were more likely to give themselves support and advice, saying things like, “Ethan, you can do this. You’ve given a ton of speeches before.” These people sounded more rational, and less emotional — perhaps because they were able to get some distance from themselves.[…]

Being an “outsider” in this way has real benefits: […] with some distance, it’s a lot easier to be kinder to that ‘other’ person. – From

The fact is many of us are too hard on ourselves, and that this can diminish self belief and confidence. So when those negative thoughts come up, let’s squash them like a bug and replace them with positive thoughts.

Another factor is to remember to Be Patient with YourselfUnderstand that we all make mistakes and that it’s ok. It’s time for us all to realize that we’re powerful, special and unique…. we need to believe it!

Tell yourself you’re amazing and believe it. Fixate on your successes more than your failures… Celebrate Small Victories.

You can do this. I believe in you… now you just need to believe in yourself!

“If you believe you can make a difference, then you will make a difference. Believe in yourself, your family and your community and you will win.” – Lindsay Fox

So there you have it: a bit of imagination and science today. 
Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe you can reach your dreams?
How could an increased sense of self belief help you achieve your goals?
Is your inner voice critical or uplifting?
Please share your experiences in the comments below.

Believe in Yourself.

How Are You?

Posted by Zak Reid

Joey Schrichte from Road to a 100 shares his thoughts with us:

What is one of the most common question that two people ask when they see each other or talk on the phone?

How are you?

A hug and a how are you is a normal greeting between close friends and family

After a hug or handshake, we like to ask ‘how are you?’. Photo: Tyler McCulloch

Each person is genuinely interested in how things are going for the other.

This is the perfect chance for either person to open up, be honest and express themselves with a friend or relative. When you share how you are feeling, don’t you feel better all of the sudden? Especially when you are engaged in conversation with someone very close to you.

But while we do this with everyone around us, I believe we often forget to ask this to the person that knows us better than anyone else, ourselves.

I think by asking ourselves this everyday we could see positive changes that would make a huge impact on our livelihood.

And this wouldn’t even take more than a few minutes a day.

A good idea would be to take out a small piece of paper, or use a computer or phone, and have a conversation with yourself.

First, simply ask and write down “how are you?”

Answer this honestly. You are talking with yourself and there should be no reason to put up any walls in this relationship.

Are you feeling tired, sad, happy, anxious, thrilled, calm, motivated? Whatever it is you feel, write it down.

I think by doing this and allowing the open conversation within ourselves, we will feel relief if we are on the negative side of the emotional spectrum or more joyful if we are leaning on the positive side of the spectrum.

And now ask, why?

Don’t take more than a few seconds thinking about this.

By identifying what is making us feel down, we can easily take the steps to turn our day around and feel better. On the other side of things we can see what is making us so happy and maybe focus on those things more often.

The other day I was impatiently waiting for a friend to text message me in response to what I sent. Time seemed to be going half speed and I was so anxious that I just couldn’t do anything else. I was constantly checking my phone.

I decided to sit down and write out how I was feeling and why I felt that way.

Immediately I put my mind at ease and went about my evening in a more carefree way. I noticed that I felt so much better just by taking the time to ask myself how I was feeling.

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important one because we are who we spend the most time with and we are the ones in charge of how we ultimately feel.

There is the common phrase that we are our own worst enemies, but I think with this simple exercise we will begin to be our own best friend, as we truly are.

Make time for you.

– Joey Schrichte 

See more Quick Me Ups from Joey here.

So how are you? Personally, I’m preparing for some major life changes so I’ve been busy, as well as a bit stressed and anxious. But this will pass as these changes manifest.

I can’t wait. QMU will be getting a lot more energy and attention in April, and it’s about time!  I hope this message finds you well!!

How are you?

Let's Give Out Compliments Today.

Posted by Zak Reid

You’re awesome.
You’re unique.
You’re you… and that’s a blessing.

Your neighbor is special. So are you coworkers.
Everybody is awesome in their own individual way, so let’s let as many people know as possible. Join me…

Let’s Give Out Compliments Today.

Teacher Helping a Child to Read with Encouragement - via Quick Me Ups

Some of our earliest praise / encouragement comes from Teachers. Photo: Jeff Johnstone

 It’s the gift that doesn’t cost anything. A few words, a genuine smile and BAM, you just made somebody feel good inside. What a great feeling.

But before we tell everybody else how amazing they are, let’s take a step back and compliment ourselves. As cliché as it may sound, the next time you’re in front of a mirror… I challenge YOU to look YOU in the eyes, and tell YOU that YOU are amazing!

It doesn’t need to be a 12 minute Braveheart speech, by yourself, in the bathroom… a couple words of encouragement will suffice. A quick “you’re very creative” / “you consistently arrive on time” / “you’re hair looks great today” / “you have an awesome smile” / “you would be an amazing super hero”… whatever you feel.

Puppy dog staring in the mirror, hopefully with a compliment! - via Quick Me Ups

“They were right, you ARE a good boy.” Photo: Georgia Pinaud

Compliment Yourself, you can do it!

It’s just as this famous funny woman once said…

Be the Best YOU Today.

Posted by Zak Reid

You’re amazing.
You’re talented.
You haven’t even scratched the surface of who you can be… your best YOU.

This isn’t a call to arms to change your entire life. This is just a helpful reminder to be the best YOU today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, today.

Be the Best YOU Today.

Dalai Lama Patient Best You Possible via Quick Me Ups

Dalai Lama does a great job at being the best Him. Photo credit: Christopher Michel

This is a reminder to be the amazing person you know you are deep inside. Sometimes our mind gets in the way… thinking, worrying, over-analyzing. But if you can be quiet, even for a moment, and listen… the true YOU is in there, full of love, happiness, and compassion. All we have to do is listen. Embrace that you.

The inner, true, best you isn’t worried about trivial nor material things. That you is relaxed and happy, but more importantly, wants to spread that happiness. That you wants your neighbor to smile, you coworkers to laugh, and people all over the world to be at peace and full of love.

That’s the best YOU. That’s the real YOU.

Let’s try to be that person for as much of the day as we can. There may be moments when we forget, and get caught up in our normal brain patterns, but then we just have to gently remind ourselves. The best you doesn’t curse because of a traffic jam, long for vengeance, harbor hate, nor is that inner you critical. The best you accepts, understands, and loves everyone, including yourself.

Be the best YOU today. Let me know if I can help. I’m here to help lift you up if you stumble. I’m rooting for you, the present you, the how-you-are-right-now you. But I’m also rooting for the present you to get closer to the inner you, the true you, as much as possible. I’m rooting for YOU. I believe in YOU. I hope you believe in YOU too.

Be the Best YOU Today.

Compliment Yourself.

Posted by Zak Reid

We recently discussed that kindness is free. In that article I encouraged you to take small, kind action. I also encouraged you to tell somebody a compliment. Today I encourage you to Compliment Yourself.

Compliment Yourself You're Amazing Happy Macaca Nigra

Look at that beautiful smile! This photo’s a Macaca Nigra selfie.

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” – Mark Twain

It’s important for all of us to believe in ourselves. Sometimes we can be our own biggest critic, but we can also be our own biggest fan and champion. Do you believe how awesome you are? Do you tell yourself?

When we’re in a relationship and have a significant other, it’s important for us to tell them that we love them. Even if our partner knows that we love them, it’s still important. We need to say it and they need to hear it.

For the same reason, you also need to hear that you think that you’re awesome. Tell yourself that you look good. Tell yourself that you can do it, that you can achieve your goal. Go ahead, nobody’s watching… besides you.

Tell yourself that you’re going to have a great day and that you deserve it. You do.

A quick google search about Self-Compliments / Acceptance / Love returns a bevvy of websites… here’s one called the Self-Love Movement. The number of sites lets me know that people are searching for it, people actively want to accept themselves more and I think that’s awesome. We’re all we have, and we need to be happy with ourselves. More importantly, we need to make sure that we know it!

I think this is a very insightful reflection:

“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.” – Iyanla Vanzant

So let’s try to build up our self-esteem! We can do this by surrounding ourselves with people who help build us up, by learning new skills and taking care of ourselves, and by believing in ourselves. One way to help grow that belief is to compliment yourself.

You’re amazing, I hope you tell yourself! Here’s a letter from you to you…

Dear you, it’s important that you know that you’re amazing. You deserve a great and happy life, and you’re capable of achieving what you believe in. You are great and you believe in you! So you would like to wish YOU good luck!!

Compliment Yourself.

We're All Imperfect.

Posted by Zak Reid

“If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are. “ – Charles de Montesquieue

We increasingly base our life upon how it compares to the lives of other people, as we see them. We see their vacation photos at the beach, their engagement then marriage, we see their happy life as is broadcast on Facebook / Instagram / Twitter, and it just looks better. We can even start believing that everybody else has it great except for us.

Everybody faces challenges and hardships. Sure some people face more than others, but that’s just how it is – life has never been, and will never be fair. So we can go ahead and stop holding ourselves to such high standards. We’re All Imperfect.

Leaning Tower of Pisa, Imperfect but famous, Motivation

An Imperfect Tower & One of the Most Famous. Photo: Saffron Blaze

We’re all flawed. It’s part of being an animal on this earth: we all have imperfections. There’s always somebody that’s bigger, faster, smarter, or funnier that us, but that’s fine. The thing is, we seem to focus only on their positive attributes, and then compare them to ours. We see from afar that this person seems to be successful in their job, but we don’t see the problems they are having at home.

We all have our own trials and tribulations, the idea is that we help each other.

I personally notice that sometimes I’ll be not-smiling for no real reason. Yesterday I had a feeling of non-happiness, and my first instinct was to ask why, and try to bring my state back to a relaxed happiness, but it wouldn’t stay. I didn’t like that it was happening, but then I realized it’s because I’m comparing myself to an idea in my mind of a person always smiling. Why do we compare so much? Why can’t we just be?

It’s Ok to not-smile for a moment. I relaxed, realized it’s Ok, started my next task, and before I knew it, I was back feeling good again.

It’s Ok to not have the best life; it’s Ok not be the luckiest; it’s Ok to get angry, upset, sad, or frustrated. We’re humans, we come from a people who lived in small communities and hunted + gathered for a living.

Our ancestors didn’t have 500 contacts on facebook, 100 phone numbers in their cell phones, didn’t have to pass standardized tests, nor 10 hours daily at a desk job. Our ancestors didn’t deal with trans-fats, pollution, automobile accidents, nor credit card fraud. We didn’t evolve from this, this is new to us, we’re rookies.

We’re the some of the first humans, in the history of civilization, to have our lives centered around electricity, data, and wireless internet connections. This is new to all of us, so we’re gonna make mistakes.

We’re All Imperfect.

Think about it – on your worst day, you live as good as somebody on their best day.

There are many people who don’t have it as good as you. Does that mean all of them have to be unhappy with their lives? Of course not. We’re all dealt different cards, our own imperfections and unique situations, and our job is to enjoy them as best we can.

There are studies on the unhappiness that is caused by comparing yourself to others via social media. I think we just need to remember that nobody’s perfect, and it’s Ok. If you don’t have a big smile on your face right now, or if you’re in a less-than-ideal situation, that’s Ok. Just keep moving forward and you’ll get out of it.

We don’t expect others to be perfect, so why do we do this to ourselves?

We’re All Imperfect.

You're Awesome!

Posted by Zak Reid

You. Are. Awesome.

I’m sorry, it’s true, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s not your fault, you were born this way… it’s time you accept it. You’re an amazingly unique individual, and out of the billions and billions of other human lives, no other one has been, nor will be the same as yours. None of the them. Ninguno. Notta One.

You’re Awesome!

You're Awesome Amazing Beautiful Powerful Positivity Uplifting Messages

Smile, You’re Amazing. Photo: Afghanistan Matters

As Vince Vaughn once said… “you’re so money and you don’t even know it.”

You are the only you, and you are truly amazing. I’m rooting for you. People you have never met, and will never meet in your life, hope you do well; they hope you are happy.

Sometimes we get so focused on the couple of people that don’t like us, when there are 7 billion people that we still haven’t met yet. Why do we listen so much to the one person that doesn’t think we’re great? Your family probably thinks your great and they’re right!

You’re amazing because you’re YOU.

“¡Smile Damnit! It doesn’t matter how you are, it doesn’t matter who likes you or doesn’t, or who you like or don’t like. You’re you, and that makes you special.” – translated from piensosinpensar

You’re Incredible.

You were born with a different lens through which you see the world. You were born with unique talents and interests. All of these traits are in you so that you can become the best you, and embrace what makes you different, not what makes you the same as others. Be yourself because YOU are a special person.

I hope that you realize it sooner rather than later, and that you live it. We’re only given this one life here and now, so let’s have fun. You’re different, embrace it!

You’re Awesome!

Learn Acceptance.

Posted by Zak Reid

You can fight it. You can push and pull, run away and hide. You can deny and ignore it, but the fact is, this Life will always have difficult moments. Resisting does no good, it only makes them more painful. I think a much better way to push forward, learn, and enjoy this life is to Learn Acceptance.

Learn Acceptance Self Acceptance Self Esteem Self Worth Positivity

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Now don’t get me confused, I’m not advocating laying down, giving up or in. I firmly believe that we choose how our day unfolds, that we can learn a lot from leaves, and that the most important step is this one right now. I just think that we should try our very best, give it our all, and ACCEPT the outcome, whatever that outcome may be.

“Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it.” – Michael J. Fox

Loss and failure are a part of life. They will always exist. People will pass away, move away, or move on. Some endeavors will succeed and some will fail. And honestly – if you never fail at anything – that either makes you THE luckiest person ever, or it means you’re not pushing yourself. Most likely the latter. When you challenge yourself and push forward, you will have some setbacks, it comes with the territory.

The take away is that when we experience loss, or failure, it’s Ok. We need to accept that it’s Ok. If it hurts, that’s fine too; that’s natural; that’s to be expected. Then, once we’ve accepted the situation, let’s start looking for our next step, so we can refocus, and move forward.

Let’s continue to fight for a better life, to create a better world for ourselves, while accepting our current situation. Life is a continuous string of present moments, of NOWs. The problem is when we’re not happy with Now, we fixate on the future, or on a different life that we want. Start down this path, and when you look back in 10 years, you’ll realize you weren’t happy in the moment. If you’re not happy today, you’re creating unhappy memories. Do this enough, and you’ve created an unhappy life. Is that what you want? No way!

The same can be said about who YOU are. Do you accept yourself? I hope so! If you want to be better at something, that’s great, go do it. But more importantly, be happy with yourself today. You are a wonderful, unique person, and if there are things you want to improve at, guide yourself with kindness, just as you would a stranger.

You probably wouldn’t be critical and get angry with a stranger who couldn’t learn to play the guitar in 5 minutes, so why do we do this to ourselves? We previously talked about self-voice, and I think it’s important to consider here. When you accept and believe in yourself, your self-voice should be one of positivity and encouragement. Are you critical of yourself??

“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don’t want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It’s high time that I accept all the great things about me.” – C. Joybell C.

Let’s learn to push ourselves, and make goals. Let’s learn to achieve more each day / week / month / year. But let’s also learn to be Ok with failing. To accept a run of bad luck. To accept OURSELVES. Life is too short to deny, ignore, escape, or just generally be unhappy. Accept yourself. Accept yous situation. Accept it all. Then plan for a way to make things better. Learn Acceptance.